Saturday, March 31, 2007

Day 5, I

Day 5, morning : Caffeine makes things much, much worse.

If more obligations/responsibilities pop up for me today, I will likely start crying. I don't think I could take it right now.

Friday, March 30, 2007

Day 4, I

Day 4, morning : Pretty snappy/irritable early on, but again fine within an hour or so of taking my morning dose. Still doing fine, except for a mild headache.

This is setting itself up to be a pretty boring blog, isn't it?

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Day 3, III

Uh oh. Okay, I'm still feeling physically okay, but my emotional state has just taken a swing downward.

I'm not crying, especially because I do realize what is going on, but I am feeling especially hopeless, with low self esteem, at this time.

I'm going to go make some tea and hope that helps.

Day 3, II

By this point, I didn't actually expect to be doing this well. I can't complain though. :)

When I've missed doses in the past, or when I went down in dosage of Effexor about half a year ago, I was definitely having very bad physical and emotional symptoms within three days.

Right now, I feel like my coordination is kinda shot, and my hearing seems not as good at the moment, but I am otherwise doing okay. I haven't had to take Ibuprofen today.

Maybe the twice/day dose of generic Zoloft is doing a lot of good in staving off withdrawal badness. I hope it stays that way.

Day 3, I

Day 3, morning : This morning felt sort of ominous. I was starting to feel some strange sinus pressure, more mild, localized headaches (different from migranes, but thankfully not as painful), and I was starting to feel emotionally fragile.

These are the first emotional symptoms I've experienced since I went down in dosage. I feel like a small part of me wants to cry, but I don't have any idea why or what about.

When I took my 150mg dose in the morning, the problems receded within an hour.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Avoiding withdrawal

Day 2 : Still some headaches, but they are manageable.

I have some hope that, unlike time I tapered down from 375 --> 300 mg, I have better sources of information about how to remedy, and perhaps even avoid, some of the really negative withdrawal symptoms.

A lot of people on different forums seem to be suggesting that Benedryl, or other sinus headache medication, may alleviate some of the strange headaches and flu-like symptoms.

Some anecdotal comments suggest that taking in good levels of Omega-3 fatty acids does a lot of good during SSRI/SNRI withdrawal, and I luckily do have a diet that does have high levels of Omega-3s (both ALA and DHA).

Also, at least one report (found here) mentions a case where 50 mg/day of sertraline (Zoloft) lessened Effexor withdrawal problems. I have been taking 75 mg/day of sertraline myself since the last time I took down my dosage of Effexor.

So, anyway, I'm hopeful. But I also remember it takes a good two or three days for the withdrawal symptoms from tapering down to kick in, so I am also watchful.

Day 1/2

On Monday, I took my morning dose of 150 mg Effexor XR, along with my other medications (50 mg generic Zoloft, 5 mcg of Cytomel) as usual, but that evening I didn't take my second 150 mg Effexor capsule. On Tuesday morning, I took the first 150 mg capsule again, and again left out the evening dosage.

Day 1 : Nothing terribly unusual, except that in the morning I was so awake that I needed no caffeine at all (which is very unusual for me). Headache in the afternoon, went away with Ibuprofin. Very sleepy in the evening, falling asleep during TV shows.

Day 2, morning : Woke up not remembering if it was yesterday or today. Still feeling alright. Headache in the morning, kind of localized to the left-front side of my head. Memory is slightly worse than usual, and I keep blanking when trying to recall recent events or relatively easy words/names.

So far, so good.

First Post!

Hi everyone.

The purpose of this blog is to chronicle the next few days/weeks(/more?) as I try to taper off of Effexor XR after being on the drug for over three years.

Don't get me wrong; the drug worked for me when other antidepressants didn't. But the side effects are awful.

The last few months, at 300 mg/day of Effexor XR (the extended release form), have in many ways felt like a blur. My brain feels blurry a lot. I don't feel like me in a lot of ways.

And if you miss a dose, which I've done several times out of forgetfulness or because I hadn't felt well enough to get out of bed and refill the prescription, it gets *bad*. A handful of times, I've ended up crying hysterically in the waiting room of a drug store just waiting for them to fill the prescription.

I remember on Election Day 2004, when I was taking a much lower dose of the drug, I hadn't refilled my prescription and had been out for two days. I think that's the first time I got "brain zaps," a kind of unpleasant wooshing in the brain, the classic symptom of Effexor withdrawal. Through the day, I was no longer able to turn my head from side to side without the "woosh" feeling, and I spent all my time in lectures that day just trying not to panic and bring attention to myself.

The maximum amount of Effexor XR I have ever been on was 375 mg/day, about six months ago, which in retrospect was much too high. The psychiatrist I had been going to thought that I was upset so often and having so many bad days that upping my dose would be a good idea. At 375 mg/day, I started getting horrible, persistent headaches, and I lost nearly all gauge of time. Against the doctor's instructions (I've made a lot of psychiatrists upset with me, I think), I went down from 375 mg/day to 300 mg/day.

I missed over half the next week's classes and my own teaching obligations that week. Two or three of those days, I wanted to spend the whole time huddled and crying in a corner of the room. I had no control over my emotions at all.

I don't want to be on a drug that has that much power. Maybe I do need to be on some kind of antidepressant, but if I can do anything about it, I don't want to be on one that kicks you in the head if you're late for a dose and leaves you wondering if you're really un-depressed or just so fogged up that it doesn't show anymore.

Spring Break is next week, and so I feel like now is as good as time as any to cut the amount of Effexor again, from 300 mg/day to 150 mg/day. It's a start.

Someday I hope to be Effexor free.